We’re making fire,
SHHHHH,
Someone might hear us.
Paper, sticks,
Matches,
Whoosh,
Gasp,
RUN!
Hearts pounding,
Heat on our backs,
Eyes wide,
Sparks dancing,
Flames kissing,
Golden grass,
Ablaze,
The vacant block,
Is filled.
Stop,
Watch,
From afar,
Smoke billowing,
Crackling,
Burning black,
Wild,
Sirens,
People looking,
SHHHHH,
Someone might see us.
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| photo credit link |
I didn't write for last weeks prompt so chose it as my adventure. "We're are learning to make fire", hope you're not bored with it. Just for the record, I've never lit a wild fire, and through summer I live in fear of children playing like this, as we live in a bushfire prone area.
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It reminds me of when I was younger and they used to burn the stubble in the field behind our house.
ReplyDeleteI was facinated but scared at the same time watching it creep closer and closer.
I've never started (or seen a wild fire) but I can imagine how terrifying it must be!
Very cool interpretation of the prompt. At first, I felt like I could be reading a children's book but then, I guess it is too dark for your usual children's story. I loved the simplicity of "Paper, sticks, Matches, Whoosh." Simple but it packed a punch! Do you link up to Lillie's Five Sentence Fiction? It's all about packing a punch with a small fist and I think you would suit it!
ReplyDeleteGreat writing
love your writing here...beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThere is something dangerous and beautiful about fire.
I like this a lot. Kind of like the primal instincts that we have towards fire simplified to an almost childlike manner as they try to hide their guilt.
ReplyDeleteIt was a thrill.
Great poetry writing! The words that describe such distinctive sounds creates a vivid story of a fire blazing! Nice work!
ReplyDeleteOooh I could almost see these kids giggling and running away from the fire they started. Very cool :)
ReplyDeleteI could see the kids giggling & hiding too... Great simplicity too
ReplyDeleteI love the way this reads, getting quicker and quicker then hushing again.
ReplyDeleteThis is totally cool! It's so concise and yet portrays a rich scenario. I really liked the flow at the start, and the cheekiness of the end. Great poem! :)
ReplyDeleteI was sucked in by the flow of this piece, it was perfect! I agree with Gill, you did so much in such a small space. Great job!!!
ReplyDeleteThankyou everyone for the lovely comments, I'm blown away! There is definitely something deeply primal about fire, I can still remember how enchanted I was with it as a child.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to try out Lillie's five sentence fiction Ink Paper Pen, thanks for suggesting it.